My dad, who died 20 years ago, called me from his deathbed to make one last wish. What he asked broke my heart.
When my father, whom I hadn’t talked to in 20 years, called me from his deathbed, I felt both angry and interested. I didn’t expect his last wish to be what it was, and what he told me about his disappearance shattered everything I thought I knew.
My phone rang on the nightstand as I was getting ready for bed. I didn’t know the number, so I let it go to voicemail. After less than a minute, a text message said, “ALICE, THIS IS YOUR DAD.” I’m in the hospital, so please call.”
My heart stopped. Dad? After twenty years? I leaned against the edge of my bed and looked at the message. I almost deleted it and forgot about it, but I was too interested to do that. I called the number again.
“Hello?” The voice was so weak that it was hard to hear.
“Dad?”
“Hi Alice, it’s me.” “I don’t have a lot of time.”
“Why are you calling now?” I meant for my voice to be softer than it was.
“I need to tell you something… to ask you something.” Don’t tell your mom, though.
That was it—the same secret that shaped my childhood. “What do you want?”
He took a weak breath. “I ran away because Harold, your grandfather, paid me to do so.” He didn’t like me and thought I was bad. He found a better person for your mom.”
What I heard made no sense to me. “Grandpa? He did that?”
“Yes.” Back then, I was having a hard time. Bad choices and addictions. I took the money your grandfather offered to get rid of me.
“So you just left us for money?” It got really angry.
“I understand how bad it sounds. I put that money to work, though, and built a business. Lisa, it was all for you. To protect your future.”
“Why didn’t you ever come back?”
“That’s the deal. I couldn’t talk to your mom or you. But I was there and saw it. I saw you get married and play volleyball. I was always there, but not right next to you.
There was a tilt in my world. “Why didn’t Mom ever tell me?”
“I’m not sure.” She might not have wanted you to dislike him. She may have thought she was keeping you safe.
“What do you want now?” My voice was shaking as I asked.
“Alice, I need to see you. One last time before I leave. “I’m at St. Mary’s Hospital.”
I had nothing to say. After everything, could I face him?
“Thank you, Alice. It’s my last wish.”
I held the phone still while the line went dead. My thoughts were all over the place. Should I go? What would I say to him? I had to think, but I didn’t have time. He was going to die.
After calling in sick the next morning, I sat in my kitchen and stared at my coffee. Should I tell Mom? But he told me not to.
I called Jen, my best friend. “Hey, can we talk?”
“Of course.” “What’s up?”
“It’s my dad,” she said. He called the night before.
“Father?” The one who went?”
“Okay. He wants to see me before he dies.
“Wow. How do you feel about that?”
“I’m not sure.” Angry and lost. Jen, he told me things. “About my grandfather.”
“Like what?”
“That my dad paid him to leave. He said he was at my games and graduation. He tried to get close, but he couldn’t.
“That’s crazy.” “What are you going to do?”
“I’m not sure.” I’m not sure if I can go see him, but he wants me to.
Jen didn’t say anything for a moment. “You might want to go. Find out what to do. Ending.”
“Well… I’m not sure if I’m ready to face him, though.
“Don’t wait too long, but do take your time.” If he’s going to die…”
“I understand. Thank you, Jen.”
I sat back and thought for a while after I hung up the phone. Jen was right. Maybe I did need to end things. I couldn’t keep living with these questions out there. I had to see him if he was really dying.
I chose to visit the hospital. As I drove, I thought about things from my childhood. Time well spent before he left and time of trouble and pain afterward. Mom never talked about him, and the questions I had about him kept coming back to me.
As I walked into the hospital room, I could feel the years of stress and unanswered questions pressing down on me. The machines that beeped made the empty room sound unsettling. My dad was lying in bed and looked weaker than I thought he would. When he saw me, his eyes lit up, and he cracked a weak smile.
“Alice,” he said in a whisper that was hard to hear.
“Hi, Dad.” I didn’t know what to say as I stood at the foot of the bed. It was hard for me to say what was bothering and angry me because I saw him so open and weak.
He said, “You came,” and the relief in his eyes was clear.
“I had to.” I had to know the reason why.”
“I know, and I’m so sorry for everything.” He put out a shaking hand, and I took it, feeling the rough, cold skin.
“Dad, why did you do that? “Why did you leave us and take Grandpa’s money?”
“Sigh!” was the sound of his sigh. “I thought it would be best for you and your mother to have a future.” Lisa, I was a mess. Dependent and poor. Without me being a part of it, your grandfather gave me a way out and a chance to make your life better.
“Do you understand how badly that made us feel?” How badly did it hurt me?” I got tears in my eyes. “Dad, you missed everything. My wedding, my volleyball games, my whole life.”
“Yes, Alice, I was there. Looking on from a distance. “Not being with you broke my heart, but I knew I had to do what was right.” He stopped and gasped for air. “I tried to fix it.” I spent the money and made something I thought would help you.
“Why didn’t you come back when you were better?”
“I was unable to. I had to stay away as part of the deal. Alice, I wrote to you, though. Emails every year. They are locked up in a safe. “Here.” A small key was given to me. “Open it when I’m done.” There are letters and proof of everything.
My fingers were shaking as I took the key. “Why now, Dad?” Why are you telling me this now?”
“I can’t leave this world without telling you the truth because I’m going to die.” Mary, I love you. “I love you always.”
As I held his hand, tears ran down my face. “Dad, I need you. I had to have my dad.”
“I understand, and I’m sorry I missed it. But I hope that reading those letters will help you understand why I did what I did.
We held hands and sat in silence. The only sound in the room was the beeping of the machines. After a while, it got harder for him to breathe. One last squeeze on my hand, and he was gone.
I had a lot of different feelings when I left the hospital. It made me feel relieved, angry, sad, and like something was finally over. I used the key to open the safety deposit box when I went to the bank the next day. That’s where I found stacks of financial papers and a bunch of letters, all addressed to me and with dates on them.
I read the letters for hours when I got home. Every one of them was full of his tears, his love, and his hopes for my future. He wrote about how he watched over me and told me how proud he was of what I had done.
When I was done writing the last letter, my anger had turned into a deep, painful sadness.
The financial records showed that my dad had, in fact, worked hard to make sure I would have a good future. I was able to change my life with the money he left behind. It wasn’t just about the money, though. It had to do with understanding his love, his decisions, and the things he gave up.
I knew I needed to talk to my mom. I had to hear her side of the story. She looked at me with sad eyes when I told her what I thought.
“I knew about the offer,” she said. “I didn’t stop it because I also thought it was best for you.” I thought your life should be better than what your dad could give you at that time.
“Why didn’t you ever tell me?”
“I didn’t want you to know the truth, so you could remember him without anger.” I did what I thought was best, even if it was wrong.
Her confession added to the picture and helped me see how the choices I made over the years had shaped my life.
I chose to start a scholarship fund in my dad’s name with the money in the end. It seemed like the right thing to do to remember him and his work. He did it to help other people, just like he did for me.
I felt calm as I gave out the scholarship. It hurt and was hard, but the past got me to where I am now. After telling everyone the truth, I could move on and honor both my dad’s love and my mom’s sacrifices.
That being said, what would you have done? If you liked this story, here’s another one about an older woman who doesn’t want to tell her son about the new man in her life because she feels bad about it. But when she is taken to the hospital, the truth comes out.
